{"id":15536,"date":"2018-04-11T11:14:32","date_gmt":"2018-04-11T03:14:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/server1.webstudio.com.sg\/~staging\/ypsg\/?p=15536"},"modified":"2018-04-11T11:14:32","modified_gmt":"2018-04-11T03:14:32","slug":"meet-the-singaporean-who-started-her-own-dating-agency-from-facebook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server1.webstudio.com.sg\/~staging\/ypsg\/meet-the-singaporean-who-started-her-own-dating-agency-from-facebook\/","title":{"rendered":"Meet The Singaporean Who Started Her Own Dating Agency From Facebook"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s another Friday evening – my girlfriends and I meet for drinks after what feels like another endless week of deadlines and the routine conversation topics go as such: work, the latest gossip, and the demise of another Tinder \u201crelationship\u201d.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m only able to chime in with a, \u201cHave you tried Coffee Meets Bagel? 4 of my friends met their girlfriends on it.\u201d At this point, I feel like dating is more of a game of Russian Roulette but like my mother always said, \u201cyou\u2019ve got to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince.\u201d<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the thing\u2014most of us don\u2019t have the time, urgency or patience for this whole seeking a soulmate deal. And the even harsher truth may be that we can\u2019t sit around and wait for a kismet meeting at a mutual friend\u2019s social gathering to bump into the person of our dreams.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

To figure out the whys and hows of the local dating scene, I sit down with Michelle Goh, the founder of CompleteMe, a Social Development Network (SDN) accredited dating agency to better understand what it takes to find \u201cthe one\u201d.<\/p>\n

Finding Herself A Spouse<\/b><\/h2>\n

In 2007, Michelle found her social circle a little \u2018lacking\u2019.<\/p>\n

With most of her friends married or attached, meeting a potential partner didn\u2019t seem to be in the cards. With that in mind, she made the decision to take her dating life into her own hands. Without the assistance of Tinder or Paktor, she started a Facebook group to expand her social circle.<\/p>\n

\"\"\u201cPeople started suggesting I organise events, so whatever I fancied that week, cause I\u2019m single and available what<\/i>, I\u2019ll just post: \u2018oh I wanna try this buffet\u2019, and see who wants to come. From there, the group grew\u201d, Michelle shared.<\/p>\n

After running the group for a while, Michelle met her husband who was, ironically – not within the group.<\/p>\n

They dated, got married and Michelle found her happily ever after.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

With that, Michelle decided she wanted to close the group; simply because it had served its purpose and enlarged her social circle.<\/p>\n

But when she announced the group\u2019s impending closure, there was an influx of overwhelming responses from the group members: \u201cWe don\u2019t care that you\u2019re married\u2014we\u2019re not. You gotta help us still!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cMy husband saw all these comments and suggested we keep the group going and organise events once a month\u201d Michelle recalls. \u201cWe maintained it as that until I had my baby boy, which was when I decided to leave my job so I could take part in his formative years.\u201d<\/p>\n

With her newfound freedom and her husband\u2019s encouragement, she went on to explore what could be developed from the group, and CompleteMe was officially born.<\/p>\n

The Stigma Behind Dating Agencies<\/b><\/h2>\n

Despite the positive responses she\u2019s gotten over the years, Michelle still feels that a large social stigma exists towards dating agencies in Singapore.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cSomehow, people still look at it as though those who need dating agencies \u2018cannot make it\u2019. But there\u2019s an increasing number of people who genuinely want to expand their social circle,\u201d Michelle explains.<\/p>\n

In typical go-getter fashion, Michelle faces the stigma head-on by making organised dating a more typical human experience. \u201cI try to educate people through different media and activities. Though we usually specialise in speed dating events, we also organise other sorts of activities like\u00a0KTV<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the coming month, Michelle is gearing up for an event she calls \u201clove on air, land and sea\u201d. Air is represented by a cable car that\u2019s topped off with watching the sunset. Land by enjoying gourmet bars and sea by going on a Kelong<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Source<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s interesting,\u201d Michelle elaborates, \u201cpeople in their 20\u2019s prefer activity based events, but for the people in their 30\u2019s they want to settle down so they rather go for speed dating because they believe in communication more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe specialise in speed dating quite a bit because we believe in communication. The thing is, if you go for very activity based things, you\u2019ll be more focused on the activity and less on the communication, so most of my \u2018successful\u2019 cases are from speed dating events.\u201d<\/p>\n

Getting Down To Dating<\/b><\/h2>\n
\"\"

Source<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

As someone who\u2019s watched her fair share of reality dating TV shows, the term \u201cspeed dating\u201d gives me flashbacks of cringe-worthy conversation flops. But if love is a battlefield, there\u2019s no use avoiding getting down and dirty.<\/p>\n

While there\u2019s no point beating around the bush, it doesn\u2019t necessarily mean it\u2019s best to walk into a situation blindfolded. \u201cFirst impressions count quite a fair bit so you have to really dress to kill in a way,\u201d Michelle points out.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Source<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

But killer looks aren\u2019t all you\u2019ll need to meet your match. For the guys, Michelle suggests portraying a mature and demure image, while still being quite confident and outspoken. As for the ladies, she suggests carrying yourself well while being able to articulate your thoughts.<\/p>\n

Singles In Singapore<\/b><\/h2>\n

So with everything laid out on the table, why is it that the number of singles in Singapore has remained consistently on the rise?<\/p>\n

Multiple local news sources attribute our singledom to higher education, busier working lives and even higher dating standards – Michelle agrees.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs compared to our parents\u2019 time, they started working much earlier, whereas for us, we typically go through quite a good tertiary education so, by the time we start working and saving money for everything, it\u2019s much later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"

Source<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cBecause we\u2019ve had this good education, a lot of us don’t want to be tied down by a family first,\u201d she continues. \u201cIt\u2019s like the world is so big, why would I want to settle down so early?\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that I don\u2019t agree or understand the sentiment, but the thing I can\u2019t understand is why so many singles, despite expressing interest in settling down, haven\u2019t taken the step to date seriously. In 2017, Channel News Asia reported that amongst a poll of singles aged 21 to 45, nearly half of the respondents have never dated seriously, despite expressing interest in marrying.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Michelle responds candidly, expressing how surprised she was when she\u2019d discovered first hand how few have been in serious relationships. \u201cIn our society \u2018dating\u2019 was never really in our dictionary\u201d she comments.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were drilled to study all the way till we get to the workforce then our parents tell us to get a good job or good pay but they don’t drill you about marriage or relationships up until you hit the later ages.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cThere are courses for soft skills and socialising but that doesn’t mean many people attend them,\u201d she laments. \u201cFor a lot of people these soft skills are applied in professional settings, but there\u2019s nothing to deal with our personal life and dealing with people we\u2019re interested in. A lot of times many don’t know where to start.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tips For Tough Dates<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

To counter this, Michelle organises workshops for singles who are looking to up their social game, because let\u2019s face it, carrying an engaging conversation isn\u2019t as simple we hope. And though the response for these workshops aren\u2019t as overwhelming as Michelle would like, it\u2019s comforting for Michelle to see respondents come back with a more open mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a matter of, \u2018you don\u2019t know what you don\u2019t know until you find out\u2019. After they come for the workshops they say they\u2019d wish they\u2019d known earlier\u201d she states frankly. She goes on to share a helpful anecdote that she\u2019s also shared with others who\u2019ve consulted with her.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cSo this guy introduced himself by saying \u2018I\u2019m an engineer\u2019. When the girl responded by asking him about his hobbies, he replied: sleeping\u201d she laughs. \u201cThe girl was shocked, and not knowing how to reply she went \u2018oh…interesting\u2019 to which he snapped at her and went \u2018what\u2019s so interesting about sleeping?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Michelle uses this as an example of how to turn a conversation around, as difficult as it may be to communicate with the other person.<\/p>\n

\u201cInstead of going on about his sleeping hobby, which would be weird however you try to approach it, you can use the 5-W-1-H (who, what where, when, why, how) approach and ask about being an engineer, so you get the other person to talk about what they like or are familiar with\u201d she illustrates.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cFor a lot of people, the pitfall comes when they have to talk about a subject that they\u2019re not familiar with and they don\u2019t know how to elaborate. So they just try frantically to jump from to topic till they land on one they know how to talk about. Instead, for every sentence the other person says, ask yourself what 5-W-1-H can be applied here?\u201d<\/p>\n

Dating Agency Singapore<\/b><\/h2>\n

Walking away from this interview with Michelle, I felt like I\u2019d seen a side of \u2018organised\u2019 dating that myself and many of my peers have dismissed (and still do). Not wanting to seem like we\u2019re romantically challenged may be one concern, but seeming like a single desperately seeking a partner is something we all try to avoid.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve heard the \u2018leave it to fate\u2019 argument many times, and while I don\u2019t disagree with that notion entirely, perhaps we\u2019ve all been looking at our love lives with too many self-imposed rules.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t put too much pressure on yourself,\u201d Michelle advises. \u201cJust take it as a socialising session or a shortcut to making more friends. I mean after one date it\u2019s not like you\u2019re going to start planning to have children together you know what I mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

I laugh and we nod in agreement. But I still wonder, what about the die-hard believers of soulmates and \u2018fated\u2019 meetings? Michelle\u2019s honest response is refreshing, almost catching me off guard.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, mister right isn\u2019t just going to come knocking at your door, you\u2019ve got to be out there doing something as well,\u201d she says firmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cEven for a dating event, the other person has to sign up, your schedules have to compliment each other and the activity has to have interested both of you, so isn\u2019t it also \u2018fated\u2019 that the two of you would meet here?\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

With that, it would seem we\u2019re out of excuses, aren\u2019t we? If we\u2019d pursue our education and careers with unabashed determination, then it\u2019s about time we stop playing it cool and casual with our personal lives.<\/p>\n

To give fate the nudge in the right direction, check out CompleteMe\u2019s upcoming events or get in touch with Michelle for some one-on-one consultations. Visit their website<\/a> and Facebook<\/a> page for more details.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s another Friday evening – my girlfriends and I meet for drinks after what feels like another endless week of deadlines and the routine conversation topics go as such: work, the latest gossip, and the demise of another Tinder \u201crelationship\u201d. I\u2019m only able to chime in with a, \u201cHave you tried Coffee Meets Bagel? 4 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":200597,"featured_media":15850,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[22,149,3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nMeet The Singaporean Who Started Her Own Dating Agency From Facebook<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The harsh truth is that we can\u2019t sit around and wait to bump into the person of our dreams.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/server1.webstudio.com.sg\/~staging\/ypsg\/meet-the-singaporean-who-started-her-own-dating-agency-from-facebook\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta 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